Love, Change, and Sacrifice

Sometimes it isn't the big, life altering, major, things that can show you are actually in love.  Sometimes it is the tiny battles that you concede, the witty comebacks you swallow, and the traditions you alter that show you are willing to be a "we".

In the past 6 months I have come to realize that, although I did make a HUGE, life changing, major, sacrifice by moving 5+ hours away from my family, it is the little things that show me I've changed.

Packing up my life and moving to Memphis was, in part, about being near RJ but it was also about the opportunity to work where I do. It was a tough decision, but it wasn't selfless by any means. I see the "we" in the sometimes forgotten little things that inhabit our every day lives. 

It's the fact that this year I will have a REAL Christmas tree in my home.  I have never, and never wanted or planned to have anything other than beautiful plastic.  RJ had never, and never wanted or planned to have anything other than pollen laden, fire causing, straight from nature, pine.  Thus, I conceded and I am giving the real thing a try, against my mother's wishes.  Hopefully we won't die in a tragic house fire.

The second reason that I know I love RJ is because I made his very favorite meal for dinner last week.  Chicken and Dumplings. To some this may not seem like a sacrifice or a big deal at all, but they do not know my history with this food.  Once upon a time when I was about 12 years old my mom made Chicken and Dumplings for dinner and they were good, delicious actually. However, that night I was more sick than I have ever been in my life. Although I cannot be sure it was the dumplings that made me this sick, after that night spent in pain on the bathroom floor, I vowed to NEVER eat them again.  So when he begged and got his grandma's recipe I very reluctantly agreed to make but not eat them.  Then I tried just a little bit of the broth, and then just a piece of the chicken, and then just one dumpling, and then a whole bowl.  They were amazing and I did not get sick.  If it had not been for RJ and giving in to HIS wants I would have missed out on this comforting and delicious food for the rest of my life.

Last but not least, I have somewhat altered my sassy personality.  I think we all know that my lack of care for what people think and extreme love of snarkasm is not always well received.  The first time I saw the honestly hurt look in his eye after, what I thought, was an awesome remark I realized that I had to the power to hit the buttons no one else could.  Having this power comes with the responsibility to not use it, no matter how funny it may be.

There are a million little things that make up the person we are and I am not saying that to be in love is to completely lose yourself to the other person.  What I am saying is that sometimes it takes love to point out and help improve the things about you that you need to change regardless.  For me it is giving up a little control, realizing that my way is not the only right way, being OK with change and spontaneity, and having ever lasting patience and tolerance.

The best lesson I ever learned about relationships is to spend each day loving and making the other person happy and to find someone who does the same.  In our relationship if each of us put the other before ourselves we will surely live a blessed life.

Here's to the little things.