A certain kind of sickness.

Home.  Such a tiny word. 4 little letters that leave a hole in my heart, a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.

What is home? Home is not four walls, home is not the place you live or the place you work. Home is not tangible. Not a physical destination, not something you can touch or hold.

Home is a deep breath and the feeling of being safe. The place where it is perfectly fine to be held and have your back tickled long after you pass your 5th birthday. Home is the chatter of voices that make it hard to sleep in silence, the bickering, the laughter.

Home is where tears are cried and wiped away. Stories are told and lessons are learned.

Home defines our souls and shapes the lives we will lead.

I miss my home.  I miss it every day.

#Heystjude

Check. It. Out.

www.heystjude.org

Some pretty amazing people lent their time to make this possible!  All you have to do is share this to help save children's lives.

Shelves are stocked

Last week I book less, this week the shelves are stocked.

First of all, let's preface this with the fact that RJ and I have found a sweet, non-chain owned book store in our neighborhood that has an equally adorable cafe where we have spent more than a few lazy, rainy afternoons.

Although, I posted a link of the 10 books every girl should read in her 20's, I kind of forget to print it or even write stuff down for when I went book shopping. Oops.  I did go in armed with a list I had been keeping at home of books that sounded interesting.

And now, because I know you are sitting on the edge of your seat waiting and debating on what I bought, here is the list of titles now living on the bookshelf in my home:

The Night Circus here
Seating Arrangements Here
American Wife Here
The Glass Castle Here
Wild: From Lost to Found on the Pacific Crest Trail Here
History of the World in 6 Glasses Here
Where We Belong Here
Girls in White Dresses Here
Room Here
Gone Girl Here

A good mix of mindless, serious, thrilling, historical, and enlightening.

I'm currently reading Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn and it is absolutely captivating.  I am over 2/3 of the way through and look forward to going to bed every night so that I can read more of it.  Highly, Highly recommend.

By the way folks, when did books get so expensive?  I mean goodness gracious.

Book Envy

So a few weekends ago I found RJ a vintage set of the Lord of the Rings books at an antique store.  It was super cool with a fancy box and gilded spines, and I am a nice person, so I bought it.

But, now we have a dilemma...he is reading in bed at night and I am jealous.  I normally have a book or two on my nightstand and currently I have none. Poor, poor, pitiful me. While he relaxes at night propped up against the headboard engrossed in his book, I am relegated to playing with the pups, annoying him while he attempts to concentrate, or willing myself to sleep with his lamp on. Not fair, I tell you, not fair.

I always keep a list of books people have recommended, reviews I've read in magazines, etc, etc, but I have not gotten around to buying any books and I CANNOT get the hang of reading on the iPad.  Therefore, my mission this week is to stock up on new books to keep on the bookshelf in the office so that I will never be bookless again.

On this topic, I came across a list of 10 Books every girl should read in her twenties.  I've read a few, but the others will make it onto the list for this week.

http://www.lovetwenty.com/2012/01/10-books-every-girl-should-read-in-her-twenties/

What do you think?  Any suggestions?

A wish. A prayer.

I was browsing the internet and came across the following.

I watched. My heart swelled and tears ran down my cheeks (I'm at work, btw).

Dear God,

Please don't worry about riches, don't worry about beauty, don't worry about anything else in life. Just give me the ability to love and be loved.

Amen.

Lindsy

Please watch. allow your hearts to swell and don't stop the tears that may run down your cheeks.

And then: change your expectations, change your wishes, and change your prayers for what it is you want to be, have and do while on this earth.

http://joannagoddard.blogspot.com/2010/09/til-death-do-us-part.html

I am alive, and in fact not dead in a ditch.

It is already August! Where is time going?  I feel like it was just last week that it became socially appropriate to wear my sundresses and sandals (and I say socially, because we all know I would wear them year round if I made the rules).

Life has been crazy lately. I have done lots of things, taken lots of pictures and had a pretty amazing summer so far.

That being said, I have not had the energy or time to update all of you who are chomping at the bit to hear about my life. It's super exciting, I know.

I promise I will try my very very best to post some pictures and the fun stories that go along with them soon.

Until then, you can all just let your imaginations run wild with what I have been doing here in the land of the sweltering heat.

Kickin' It.

Lately my life has been filled with the gym, trying to organize my house, planting and tending to my garden, and attempting to sneak in some quality time with Rarj.

I don't have pictures and I don't want to hear any belly-aching from you people, this girl has been too busy, too tired, or too dirty to attempt to remember a camera.

Moving on.

This week RJ and I have planned to do something I've been wanting to do for a while, but we never actually get around to.

Make a for real, written down and documented, all out, crazy encouraged, bucket list.

I assume that it will take place over wine on the patio following our nightly grilled dinners.

So let's get to it, what is one thing you have ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS wanted to do before you kick it?

Struggling with the everyday.

Today is a Wednesday, yesterday was Tuesday and tomorrow is Thursday.  Another week.  Another day.

Lately I have been struggling with the everyday.  The feeling of boredom and slight discontent that settles in as we all start to settle into normalcy.  The longing for the days when May signified summer and all of the glory that came with it.  The late nights that turned to early morning without so much as a thought to sleep.  Entire days spent laying in the sun by the pool.  The promise of excitement and vacations with friends. More than just another day.  More than working, making dinner, and sleep; just to start all over again in 7-8hrs.

In the real world life isn't exciting all the time, there are not fun plans for every weekend, nothing to wait anxiously for. And sometimes I get sad for no real reason other than the fact that I grew up and somehow didn't notice.

I don't discount that my life is wonderful and that to some people what I have is what they hope for, but I am and will always be a person of short attention.  I like to be doing, planning, working, going all of the time.  I'm not content with the familiar and I will never be someone who can just 'be'. 

Right now I am living in the in between.  I'm not a college kid who can get away with working a frivolous summer job, but I'm not a full fledged adult who is acclimated to life without summer vacation.  I don't want to party Thursday-Sunday and be drunk 5 out of 7 nights of the week, but I also tire easily of sitting at home all of the time.

Why at 26 am I feeling this way? Is this just summer blues mixed with nostalgia?  AM I crazy? Whatever the answer ends up being, maybe it will pass or maybe I'll be cured, I'll live everyday with gratefulness and thank God for the life I consider boring.

Full Circle

So, I'll spare you my whining and bellyaching about moving for today.

Instead I thought I could update you on the parts of my life that don't include boxes and packing tape and bruises...

A month or so ago I was approached about an advisor position with the ADPi chapter here in Memphis.  I have been active in the alum association since moving here last May and had worked with the chapter in that capacity, but did not even realize that an advisor position was opening up.  It was the recruitment advisor position, quite possibly the most time consuming and stressful on the advisory board, but I have this problem and I can't really say no, not that I ever would have.  I LOVE recruitment and I LOVE ADPi and I have been waiting for an opportunity to really get involved and connected here in Memphis.

Obviously I accepted the position and started transitioning into the office last night.  I am so excited to meet the women and start learning about them as individuals and as a chapter.  I know that it is going to be hard work, but I can't wait to dive in and share all of the amazing ideas and memories from my sweet Beta Beta.

I hope that my sisters, ahem ahem, will send ideas and helpful hints my way.

During recruitment week we may have not slept a wink, worked ourselves to the bone, and been stressed to the max, but it also gave me memories I will treasure forever.

Who hates moving? I hate moving.

Quick recap.

I have been packing for weeks.  We moved a big chunk of boxes Wednesday.

I also moved ALL of my clothes Wednesday, without thinking I needed something to wear to work yesterday. Thank goodness I have a messy car and just happened to have a dress still on the hanger from Chattanooga.

The movers come this afternoon for the big stuff. 

Oh yeah, and we stayed up until 3:00am last night getting the last "few" things done. Few? My behind.  Please refer to my previous post and multiply times a bazillion. 

My eyes are pretty much swollen shut today from the dust and dog hair that was hiding behind and under everything I own. 

I had to be at work at 6:30 this morning to get stuff done before I leave early.

I have to be up at 7:30 tomorrow morning for graduation.

RJ got ridiculously fabulous grades for his last semester! He will walk across the stage tomorrow with honors, one step closer to his dreams (Ph.D, curing cancer, you know the normal stuff) and I am so proud and so in love.

I HATE moving.

But I love all of you and my life, even when it is filled with all of the above.

Stuff.

I have too much of it. Kitchen stuff, bathroom stuff, clothes, shoes, gadgets, appliances, DVDs, stuff.

I moved to Memphis from Chattanooga less than a year ago, but I have somehow managed to accumulate a ridiculous amount of things.

When I started the relocation process with St. Jude I made a diligent effort to really evaluate my things and not bring junk because I couldn't seem to come to terms with throwing it out.  I made really good progress.  I gave away 4 garbage bags of clothes, threw away 2 trashcans full of other items, etc. 

Now I'm packing for another move (sorry if this is the 1st you've heard of it) and somehow I have just as much, if not more, than I did in Chatt. Therefore, I am currently living in a cardboard war zone.  Packed boxes, empty boxes, collapsed boxes waiting to be taped, piles to yard sale, piles to Goodwill, piles to throw out and piles to pack. 

I HATE MOVING.  A year ago I had to do nothing but sit there and look pretty as the two nice men boxed, packed, loaded and moved all of my stuff.   For some reason I can't convince HR that relocating me within the same city is a valid use of money that otherwise goes to cure cancer...unbelievable. 

We get our key Sunday and will start moving little things everyday with the big stuff coming Friday, I have no idea how I am going to get it all done.  And that is not a typo.  It says I.  Nothing sucks more than moving, than having to do it solo for most of the time.  RJ has his finals today and Monday (prayers and good vibes appreciated) and therefore our future trumps packing boxes. lame.

Oh, but in true Lindsy fashion, my Pollyanna complex allows me to see the positive and the fact that we are moving into a home that we are both in love with.  It's still small, but it has everything we need and a pretty fabulous backyard to boot!

If you people have tips, tricks, survival guides, etc for moving this is my cry for help: TELL ME YOUR WAYS!!!!!

Otherwise, I might end up one giant paper-cut who can't figure out how to use the packing tape dispenser thing.

Weekend in Heaven

My heaven that is.  And it just so happens that heaven is only 5 hours away. Chattanooga. Duh.

When I'm in Memphis and people ask me where I'm from, they usually get more than they bargained for.  It usually starts with, well I'm from Chattanooga and I moved here almost a year ago. Standard response that one would expect.  Then they get a sales pitch worthy of the best employee of the Chattanooga Visitor's Bureau. I follow that up with a shortened version of my life's history, and then end with a (not so short) list of all of the amazing things to do, see and eat when they take that trip I convinced them of way back with the sales pitch.

Ridiculous? Probably Maybe. But I happen to LOVE Chattanooga and the people that live there.

This weekend RJ and I were lucky enough to get to stay with our besties Austin and Rikki.  They bought their first house back in February and we had only gotten to see it through facetime and pictures.  It's so perfect for them and I love everything they have done with it. 

Just a little back story for those not up to speed.  Austin and RJ are best friends.  Like Rob and Big, Lilo and Stitch, LaVerne and Shirley, Ben Affleck and Matt Damon, etc.  They are basically children waiting for Christmas morning when it comes to seeing each other. and it is the cutest thing in the world.

So while the boys play and cuddle, Rikki and I get to talk(gossip) and just be together.  When you are used to basically living with your best friends for 4 years and then all of sudden you are suddenly 5 hours apart, it's kind of a difficult adjustment but nothing has changed and it never will.

Regardless, a weekend in Chattanooga that included my favorite foods (Crust and Amigos), my favorite people (you all know who you are), and my family (even it was only for a few hours) is quite possibly the closest thing to heaven that I can imagine. Not to mention a quick trip into Nashville to See Katie and Boomer's house was pretty fantastic too!

AND I got to spend an uninterrupted 10 hours in the car with my love. There is nowhere that I sleep better than in a car speeding down the interstate. However, somehow we end up talking the entire time just like a couple of kids in the first months of their relationship who are giddy to know everything that is in the other's pretty little head.

I love my friends. I love my boyfriend. I love our home in Chattanooga, we just stay in Memphis.

So here's my public plea. You people come to Memphis and visit more often. We're lonely over here.

Tequila: Is what's for dinner

Seriously. Last night we were headed to the grocery store and decided we were starving and couldn't wait to shop, cook, and then eat. So RJ(knowing exactly how to manipulate me) says, "Hey, How about Mexican?" Chips, salsa, margaritas?" Everyone knows that there is no way that I will decline Mexican food.

We have both been stressed to the max.  Him finishing up grad school and me working like a mad women doing the jobs of 3 people, needless to say there has not been much quality fun time at our house...

We get to the restaurant, decide to sit in the bar and then notice it is 2 for 1 margaritas until 7:00 and it just so happens to only be 6:07; lucky us!  We order one round a piece and put in an appetizer order with the intentions to order food in a bit... fast forward an hour and we have each consumed 5 margaritas and no dinner. Ooops!

It was such an amazing reminder of when we first were dating, before we became old grown-ups with jobs and responsibilities.  We laughed and talked and just enjoyed each other's company. Even if it is over 4 years later he is still a pretty great date.

I'm not saying tequila is going to be a staple on our weekly menu, but maybe it will serve as a reminder to have fun and be young every once in a while.

My Favorite Mexicans(I searched for Deeds in the poncho)

Catching the habit

So, if you remember, a couple months ago I started boot camp with the hopes of jump-starting a new and healthier lifestyle...

Here's the update:

I completed my initial 8-weeks of boot camp and bought another 8.  I am currently on week 4 and have not missed a single class in 12 weeks.

I LOVE EXERCISE. It's a problem really. I never in my whole life thought that I would become someone who enjoyed working out, and yet, here I am.

About a month or so ago St. Jude opened its brand new fitness center on campus to my shock, I am there a minimum of 4 times a week, in addition to my boot camp classes. I have come to accept the slight soreness in my muscles as normal. Who am I? Seriously?

Here's the real kicker. Last week my work, workout buddy Amber was on a business trip Wednesday-Friday and I slacked.  I did not work out at all on Thursday or Friday (unless shopping is considered exercise) and man did I feel it.  My energy level pretty much bottomed out, I didn't sleep as well as I have been, and I was a bit more snappy and irritable.  It also could have been PMS, but whatever, that's beside the point. My body and I missed my workouts.

Once Monday rolled around and I was back in my routine, it hurt a little more during and after, but I also felt a million, bazillion times better. I like to push myself. I like to get out the day's frustration. I cannot wait to go to class, and no matter how tired and winded I get, I am sad when it's over.

Moral of the story, it's not impossible to find a workout you love.  It took 25 years, a good chunk of which were spent overweight, to find something to motivate me, but I did it. The boot camp that I started in January changed my entire perspective in regards to exercise and I can honestly say that I think that the physical changes that exercise has made has rubbed off into other areas of my life.

More on that tomorrow.

First time for everything

In my life, things do not go according to plans. Ever. Seriously, things happen to me that seem like they are straight out of a movie.

Boyfriend surprises girlfriend and meets her in Nashville. We run over a 6 foot ladder on the interstate, have to be towed and then have no car until the next day when we go our separate ways. Boyfriend and girlfriend are headed to the beach for a lovely vacation.  Boyfriend forgets swimsuit, gets speeding ticket, and then has the most horrible case of the flu known to man.  Awesome. Girlfriend sweetly buys boyfriend tickets to the Braves vs. Yankees game in Atlanta. Traffic is a nightmare, we detour, get lost, and finally make it by the middle of the 7th inning. Throw in a side of our best friend getting diagnosed with not one, but two rare genetic conditions while on a weekend visit and you have a quick snapshot of my life. Can't make this stuff up.

But then a weekend comes along that is nothing short of magic.  It wasn't anything fancy or elaborately planned out, just a weekend.  One blessed weekend that has kept a smile on may face even through a somewhat trying work week.

Saturday morning we actually got to sleep in together, followed by a delicious homemade waffle and bacon breakfast. After that we took our time getting ready and then headed to Mississippi for me to learn to shoot some guns. NOT before RJ bought me some pink ear muffs to keep my delicate ears from hurting and we loaded up on ammo.  Yay!

We spent the afternoon with RJ's best friend Brian, his girlfriend Megan and a few of their other friends.  And believe it or not, folks, I am a pretty good shot.  The real purpose of this outing was for me to learn to shoot RJ's gun, should the need arise, but it turned out to be pretty fun. With the most exciting part of the day being when they pulled out the exploding targets. Remember, I was in Mississippi and the land we were on pretty much looked like an armory after all the boys pulled out their toys. After that we had some, ever delicious Taco Bell, and headed home for an afternoon nap that turned into us not getting up until 8:00, but it was heaven. 

Later that night we went to a friend's birthday party, had a few drinks, and then realized that we were starving.  Since there is no City Cafe in Memphis, we went to a place called CK's for some late night yumminess.  It was here that RJ realized his dream of becoming a diner employee... because ONLY MY BOYFRIEND offers to help the lone 2 employees by busing tables and refilling drinks.  We were tipsy and it was funny and extremely sweet.  After our "free" meal, due to RJ's hard work we went home and poured ourselves into bed.

Sunday was lazy and wonderful.  We went grocery shopping and to dinner at his parent's house.  Uneventful bliss.

Needless to say I am one happy girl right now.  If only the gods can continue to shine on us this weekend as we make our way to St. Louis for a long weekend away together.  My sweet boyfriend will celebrate his birthday Saturday, so send some love and luck his way. 

I wouldn't mind another perfect weekend, but I'm not taking holding my breath...

Lean with me, Rock with me

Last May I packed my bags and moved to Memphis.  I didn't know the area very well and when RJ's cousin happened to have a house for rent, in a safe area, with no deposit, and rent in our price range we kind of just said "OK" and moved in.

Our house is cute from the outside, we have a deeper front porch with a porch swing and enough room for my iron table and chairs.  We have "2" bedrooms and 1 bathroom.  I say "2" because what we really have is more like 1 bedroom and 1 room of unknown description.  We use it as an office/guestroom. Our eat-in kitchen is really roomy, but lacks counter space and our den is actually pretty great, it's big and has a fireplace.  All in all this house is not a horrible place to live.  I'm not scared to stay at home alone and I can walk the dogs without feeling like I need both a billy club and mace. That is until recently when I noticed that the slight unevenness of the floors had turned into an all out lean.

We knew that the house had problems, a water heater had burst before we moved in and the repair work was shoddy at best, but we could deal with a little tilt.  However, our bathroom is now a  ski slope and all the tile is cracking from the pressure. In short we are now looking for a new home.

We spend our weekends driving around Memphis looking for houses. I spend hours online searching for something that we can love.  The problem is that I have already fallen in love with one neighborhood in Memphis.  I mean like head over heels, we drive the same streets every weekend just hoping and praying a new house as gone up for rent, in love.  The HighPointe neighborhood is everything I miss about Chattanooga.  It is a neighborhood made up of sweet older homes that people have lovingly restored.  The residents are younger families who walk their dogs and push their babies in strollers to the nearby restaurants and markets.   They all have swings hung from tree branches in the front yards and tasteful, yet unique, paint colors on the shutters. I want SO badly to live there. Reality: Nothing is for rent that is not crazy expensive.  There are quite a few houses for sale, but with our future somewhat uncertain we are leery to buy until we are more settled.

So kids, say some prayers and throw some good luck our way as we keep searching.  Until then we'll be laughing our way through life in our little house that leans. I mean really, first houses are supposed to give you stories, not everything you want.  More memories to be made, at least that's what I'm telling myself.

Lots of love to you on this beautiful Thursday!

Fat Tuesday

Happy Mardi Gras! 

Today is Fat Tuesday, which means a few things.

1. I have an excuse, if I so wish, to eat lots of ridiculous junk food and have a couple drinks (even if it is a school night).

2. I am pretty much guaranteed to have at least 1 party going on down the street from me, which inevitably means that my poor pups will spend the better part of the night barking their little lungs out.

3. Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday.

The problem with #1 is that I also have boot camp tonight and somehow ingesting 5,000 calories after killing myself for an hour is NOT appealing what-so-ever. Instead, I have challenged myself to make a deceivingly delicious Cajun meal that will not demolish my calorie goals. I will also be whipping up a few cocktails and possibly a little homemade dessert.  DISCLAIMER: This will all depend on how mean my coach is tonight, we may end up with cereal...

I live within a single city block of a college campus.  All my neighbors are college students.  They like to party.  A lot. On any holiday and for any reason.  Oh well, I liked to party too.  Maybe I'm just jealous. Either way, I wish they made puppy earplugs so that my sweet babies would not freak out at every hoot and holler.

With Ash Wednesday comes a whole other set of rules. I must go to mass, I must either fast or abstain from meat for the whole day, and I must spend the rest of the day stressing over what sacrifices I am going to make to remind me of The Sacrifice that Jesus made on Good Friday.

In years past I have almost felt bad for the things I chose to give up for Lent.  They always seemed a bit self serving in one way or another.  I'm not saying they weren't sacrifices, because they were, but they always seemed to have an underlying purpose that was not spiritual in any discernible way.  One year I cut out carbs. Difficult for someone who looooooves bread and french fries? Yes.  Also a way to force me to diet so that I could reach a weight loss goal? Yep. Another year I gave up snacking between meals....same reason, different year.

This year I am determined to come up with something that will help me grow as a person.  I want to honor God by pushing myself to go outside my comfort zone and really dig into how I can change, be it spiritually or emotionally.

Anyone feel like sharing their Mardi Gras plans or Lent goals?

Family Friday

Right now, as we speak, my sisters are brother are piled up in a car headed on that horribly boring drive to bring them from Chattanooga all the way to me, in Memphis.

 And. I . Am. So. Excited.

Mushy Monday

Fair warning: this is a lovey dovey post.  If you don't like it, don't read it.

Tomorrow marks mine and RJ's 4th anniversary.  I know, Valentine's Day, kind of ridiculous and cheesy.

For those of you who know the whole story, you know there's much more to it than Valentine's day.  For those of you who don't...please don't judge me.

Four years ago I had a "Valentine" and it was not RJ.  In fact, it was one of his fraternity brother and one of my very favorite people in the world, Tyler. We had a dinner date with another "Valentine's" couple and had a wonderful time.  My secret was that throughout the entire "date" I had been texting RJ and he FINALLY asked me to come over to his room to watch a movie.  After leaving my date, I promptly headed to his house and the rest is history...  Oh yeah, except the part where we hid our relationship from our bestest friends for 3 months.

Right, well, now that everyone knows my dirty little secret, here's where we are now.  Fast-forward 4 of the fastest years of my life.  I guess it says something for our relationship when I cannot believe that it has been even 2 years.  We are still ridiculously crazy about each other and life together doesn't drag by, it's just fun. We play together, plan together, depend on each other, and love each other unconditionally.  All in all, we just live life together.  Don't get me wrong, we also argue and fight, but even when I am so mad I can't speak I would never want to be anywhere other than exactly where I am.

Life gets mundane, dishes need to be done, laundry needs to be put away, and unfortunately I have to go to work everyday.  The secret to our happiness, as cheesy as it sounds, is that we live our lives to try and make the other happy.  Everyday I feel loved and cherished.  Even when I am crying because our plans have fallen apart, RJ can somehow make it better.  Even if it is just a box of cupcakes and a night spent "camping" on an air mattress in the den, he makes it special. I know that he would do absolutely anything to take my tears away and it makes me start to dwell on how lucky I am and less on how things didn't go as I had imagined in my head.

One of the biggest hurdles for me was learning that just because RJ doesn't show love the way I do, doesn't make either of us wrong; it makes us different.  In order to learn about each other we took THIS QUIZ and started really digging into "The Love Languages" that we each prefer. Now we are committing to step outside of our comfort zone and make the sacrifice and effort to love the other in the way that THEY recognize love and want to be loved.

I think all of you should do it too.  There are quizzes for attached and single.  It is enlightening and actually makes a whole lot of sense if you allow yourself to listen without becoming defensive.

I can honestly say, life is hard, but I am happier now than I have ever been.  I have someone I cannot imagine living without and I cannot wait to see what the future holds for us.

Sometimes you just need to be drunk and ridiculous

Alright people.  I don't know if it's boredom, the events of the past week weighing on me, or just plain nostalgia, but I need to escape.  My chosen escape, you ask? Junior year of college.  Quite possibly the most amazingly stupid and ridiculous time of my life.

Best times. Best friends. No worries. Lots of fun. Lots of rum. Possible arrests. Memories that deserved to be relived and redone.

Before life gets really real and someone has a baby. 

But hopefully not in a bar.

Work out Wednesday

I have successfully completed two, count them, two boot camp classes and I hurt. We are talking serious pain in muscles that have not been used in a long time.

That being said, I really, really enjoyed my classes.  Monday was a bit tough at some points, but by yesterday I had learned to accept the pain and push through.  The real turning point came when last night's workout was over, I was actually sad. Weird.

If you would like to get a sample of what we have been doing, feel free to watch HERE .

Progress:

As of Sunday morning I was down 3.2 lbs just from a week of diet changes that included very limited carbs and sugar and 6 small meals per day. By adding in workouts this week, I am hoping to see even greater improvement!

Struggles:

My true struggles have come at the hand of my good ole' buddy boredom.  During the week, RJ works at least 4 out of 7 nights until close to 10, leaving me at home from around 5 (now 8 with bootcamp) until 10:15 or so when he walks in the door.  During this time I have to fight to keep myself busy or else I find myself snacking for no good reason.  I'm not saying I'm eating potato chips straight out of the bag or anything, but even too much healthy food is too much food. Therefore, I have devised a strategy to keep my hands busy.  Whenever I go into the kitchen and catch myself looking for food, instead of food I get a big glass of ice water and leave.  Not only am I filling my stomach, I am also training myself to resist my urges to eat.

Meals: 

This week's biggest success thus far is the Healthy Chicken Parmesan.

It was easy, healthy, and delicious!  Just a few common sense swaps, some inventive choices and you can have something that is just as comforting as the original.

We used boneless, skinless, chicken breasts coated in a mixture of Parmesan cheese, Panko, and garlic. Then we sprayed the outside with Pam and baked at 425 for 25 minutes. Delicious, crispy, yet healthy, chicken. For those of you who are not aware, tomatoes have very high sugar content, prepared tomato products (Ketchup, marinara, jarred pasta sauce, etc) even worse. So to mimic the topping without the fat, we used a chopped tomato, basil, bruschetta.  Turns out it tasted even better and much fresher than the normal saucy coating.

Recipe:

5 roma tomatoes, seeded and diced

1/2 sweet onion diced

1-2 cloves garlic chopped very finely

Lots of fresh basil leaves rolled together and sliced to create skinny strings (chiffonade)

A splash or 2 of extra virgin olive oil

Salt and black pepper to taste.

Mix it all together and let sit in the fridge for at least an hour. Then top anything you care. Crusty whole wheat baguette, chicken, fish, even use as a sauce on whole wheat pasta.

And now for a little confession.  Today at work we had a pizza party. I ate a piece. Not the healthiest lunch, considering I brought a salad from home, but a little cheat every now and then won't kill me.  I only had 1 piece and I made sure to pick veggie, by not restricting my diet every single day I figure I can turn this into a true lifestyle. That includes the occasional bad for me food.

Any tips/tricks you have to keep yourself motivated and on the right track?  Feel free to chime in.

           



I might be crazy, but here goes nothing

I have never been a "skinny" girl.  Let me rephrase, I do not remember ever being a skinny girl.  From the time I was born until I was 5 I was apparently pretty scrawny and classified as underweight, but back then there was not a body issue in sight and therefore, I didn't notice.

What I did notice was being overweight pretty much my entire childhood, adolescence, and early teen years.  It just seemed that the weight kept creeping on and no matter how many fad diets I tried, it never seemed to budge.  I cannot explain how many times people made, what they thought were helpful, comments about my weight, my looks, how I could lose it, etc, etc, etc.  Even more, what I can't explain is that until someone makes a decision to do something for themselves, no amount of audience participation, bribes, threats, or guilt is going to work.

For me, I made that choice the spring of my junior year of high school.  I made the resolution that no matter what it took I was NOT going to start college as the fat girl. Over the next year an half I lost almost 100lbs.  I felt proud of myself and I have managed to keep it off (save the same 10lbs that I tend to gain and lose a million times).  The kicker, I'm still not skinny. After losing all of that weight I am still 30 lbs away from my true goal.  I became complacent in my journey and settled for good enough.  When I hit that plateau, instead of pushing through, I decided maintaining was easier.

Fast forward 8 years and I am ready to get back in the trenches.  Ready to slim down and tone up what I left behind.  The first time around I focussed pretty solely on diet with a little exercise thrown in for good measure, this time I know that to get where I want I am going to have to sweat. 

So, I signed up and am starting boot camp classes this afternoon.  This is my public admission and cry for help to keep me accountable and motivated. 

I plan to share my progress, healthy meal ideas, tips, tricks and all else attributed to a changing lifestyle every week( you can keep me accountable for this too).

So, here goes nothing! Hopefully I can still walk tomorrow.

New year: Not new, but better me!

I know that currently the whole world is updating their blogs with all their amazing plans for themselves and their lives in the upcoming year, so sorry to be another of the same.

2011 was a year of extreme changes in my life.  I left what I had always known in Chattanooga for the extreme unknown in Memphis.  So far it has been an amazing experience that has pushed me and forced me to grow in my professional and personal life.  I can no longer hide behind the familiar and safe, I have had to challenge myself to try new things, let go of old habits, and re-evaluate the plan that I thought I wanted for myself. 

This year I have set some lofty goals for myself to continue my transformation from complacent little girl into a content women with purpose.

1.  Make friends in Memphis.  This is difficult because, as I have discussed with a few of you, I feel like no one I meet will ever live up to the amazing friends I already have so why bother... However, I miss having someone to do things with.  A female presence in my daily life, not just by phone, text, or now facetime.

2. Live healthy.  Since moving here I have realized I have become sedentary.  I work, sleep, spend time with RJ.  I hardly ever go outside and my energy level is zilch.  My plan is to eat whole, real foods and exercise at least 4 days a week.  RJ is doing this with me and we have set goals and plan to keep each other accountable.  I am not particularly trying to be one of those new year's dieters, I just want to treat my body right and hopefully accept a new lifestyle.

3. Fall back in love with books.  I used to love to read and would usually have a book or two on my bedside table, but when I am working all day the TV is much less maintenance. I got a bunch of new books for Christmas and instead of watching TV together in the evenings RJ and I have been relaxing and reading together.

4. Notice the little things.  All too often I find myself finding fault in everything that is going wrong in my life.  A pointless argument, a missed opportunity, a day that didn't go as planned, an accident that no one could have avoided.  I let it ruin my day and my mood.  Instead what I strive to do this year is make a point to notice the little things.  The fact that RJ made the bed so I wouldn't have to (not the fact the pillows weren't right), the little accomplishments at work (even if I didn't get my whole to-do list crossed off), my sweet puppies' kisses (not the mess they made with their toys), etc, etc.

5. Possibly the hardest thing for me, but what I feel may bring the most change in my life.  I want to stop comparing. Stop comparing myself, my life, my boyfriend, my home, everything.  I know that it is instinctual to compare yourself either as a benchmark of success or as a means to feel superior.  Either way it is not healthy.  I want to learn to be content and grateful for what I have and not feel jealous or bad about myself for what I perceive I am missing.

So there you have it. Some pretty big goals.  Feel free to offer encouragement and suggestions for success.

Love you and miss you all!